Up: Economics Network > Writing for Economics
This answer doesn't really address the purpose of the task. Instead it provides too much background information about the company they worked for and not enough about the individual actions. Starting with the main idea (that you have the kind of experience they are asking about and that you learned from it) would immediately improve this answer. As it is, the candidate sounds extremely negative about their experience and there is a vague description of the task. The candidate also fails to go into any detail about how they adapted to the change or the overall result.
The language in this answer is clear and positive. The candidate explains the task, how the tasks changed, how they responded to solve the issue, and concludes by illustrating the results of their work. The candidate demonstrates determination, initiative and an ability to build successful working relationships.